so much has happened these past few weeks. and the good thing is that i have been a good girl all week long. yahoo! you know, no gimmicks, no boys, no smoking. man, it feels good to be good. hehe. last thursday, i went to RP with leeann and jc to watch the Incredibles. it was a nice flick, and it has nice morals as well. but i wouldnt recomend it for youngsters. it was too violent and deep. im sure kids wont understand the conversations involving the ships, their powers and a lot more. i guess its a cartoon made for the adults. whatever. i enjoyed it. it was an action cartoon. full of robust scenes. pak-pak-whapack!!
leeann invited me to go to antipolo for a prayer mountain thing. thinking that it was in antipolo and the view is nice(like in tagaytay), of course i said yes. so saturday afternoon, our bags were packed and we're raring to go. the drive was freakin long and we were confined inside like sardines. i remembered we had a hard time moving our knees. oh, wait, we cant even move our knees! man, it was sooo sikip. whoooo. once we got out of the van and saw the view, felt the coldness of the air, we knew that the not-so-nice ride was all worth it. and the best thing is that when u look up to the sky, it was like the stars were a few feet away from you. they looked so near that i think i could touch them right then and there. nice.
i didnt know though that we were supposed to be praying hard and fast really harder. okay i can take the praying part but i can NOT take the fasting part. i cant bear to skip a meal once. lalo na twice. so there i am in the mountain, enjoying God's presence thru the breath-taking nature, but i guess my stomach was not. it was grumbling and demanding for food. oh well. i cant eat because the people around me was fasting as well. they'll probably lock me in a room or something when they caught me eating (haha, i was just exxagerating). well i believe that miracles do happen. i survived the trip and most of all, i felt the presence of God again. i havent been talking to the Big Guy on the heavens for a long time now. and im glad i did because i've realised that theres so much to tell him. monday morning, i went inside on one of the prayer cells there in antipolo to have a private place to pray in and do whatever. at first i didnt know how to start praying-a little ironic because im always used be a prayer leader in my youth group. haha. there i am staring at the white wall and contemplating on what to say to God. i was silent for a couple of minutes, so i decided to lie down on the floor. staring at the ceiling now, i began to recall what i've been doing for the past years--how i've been hurt and how i've hurt the people around me, the lies that i told, the vices that i've acquired, the lustful thoughts, the not-so-nice remarks, the endless swears, the situation im in... there were a lot of stuff that came in my mind that i cried. i cried so hard. i did not prayed like a sorry-assed gal who asks for repentance and for God to save her or something. i just lied there on the floor, talking to him like a friend and like we have a personal relationship or something. i felt like i was pouring out myself to Him and after what seemed like forever, i fell asleep. i was exhausted because of crying. or i guess i was exhausted because i realised what a sinner i was. after an hour and a half of praying, crying and sleeping, i went outside and smelled the fresh air, feeling light as a feather. i was refreshed and i guess my burdens were a lot lighter now. and i didnt even felt that i was hungry anymore. haha.
before we left antipolo, we had a bountiful late-lunch at the cafeteria. burp. delicious pakbet and adobo. *drools*... CONCLUSION: it is up to us to let God in our lives. and i realised that He is a patient God. see, i've been ignoring Him for the past years and still, i know He is not a bit mad (bec im still alive, haha)... and sometimes we need to get away from the city. escape the hurly-burly and all the chaos in our lives and just be somewhere quiet. we need to be still and reflect on with our lives or else we'll all continue to be robots. its fun to go somewhere and admire God's creations once in a while. and when you do, you'll realise your sole purpose here on earth.
i cant say that i have totally changed because we all know that changing isnt overnight. but i had a different look in life. a more positive one. and im glad thet my bestfriend is now smiling (because she's been crying for the past weeks and it just breaks my heart). we all had genuine smiles on our faces, and i think with that, we are helping the world to be a better place to live in, with our own little ways. thank God i have a wonderful family and friends. i know im a better person because of them... love u guys...
a big shout to leeann: when you're down, remember what mr. rabbit(or kangaroo?) said...
joyce: i miss you so much and i just want you to know that im just waiting for you... and im always here...
jc: you are a vain guy, but kewl. take care of your sisters of else...
BOL guys and gals: thanks for being so nice and friendly...
