a mind-blowing EARTHQUAKE

\\ms. avi
today at around 2.30 am, while my roomates and i were drowning in our own deep sleep, we felt that something's moving and shaking. but we just ignored it thinking that maybe one of us is just moving in her bed (we share bunk beds so if one of us moved, the other one will feel the movement). but the moving became intense and then suddenly, the glass windows are making weird noises as well. then anne who is sleeping at the bottom bunk near the windows broke the silence and said "guys, umuuga.." and then she yelled; "guys, lumilindol!" and then reality hit us like a big, scary truck, and suddenly we were all scrambling and running for the door. all i could say was "shit! shit! shit". in a split-second time, my mind suddenly stopped. my mother and my sister came into my mind, next are my friends who are living alone like me, who's family are all in abu dhabi as well. then i also thought that if the building would crash, what would i bring with me? my floor plans and plates and my other academic stuff? my laptop? my toothbrush(what the fuck?)...my mind was going crazy at that moment, and then i was back to reality again when rachel accidentally pushed me when we're on the stairs. all i had with me was my phone. i sent text messages to my sister, my mom and to some of my friends. no one replied. maybe they didnt notice the earthquake or maybe it didn't even reached their place. but whatever. i was freakin scared. putragis, i have never been this scared in my whole life. i thought we're gonna be stuck in the building. downstairs at our dorm's parking area, some of the girls are already there too. some of them are still sleepy, some are laughing and smoking, some looked serious and are about to cry, some just sat silently on the pavement. we were all there downstairs wearing our pajamas, boxers, robes, nighties and fluffy slippers waiting for something to happen. the manager of the building isn't living there and the guard and watchmen is no use either. looking at all my dormates, i suddenly felt like we were in an orphanage or something. we are all here in a middle of a crisis and we are away from our family. i know deep inside that we are all waiting for some assurance, some security, some kind word from a caring adult saying "everything will be alright"... but no one was there for all of us. its just..us. just a bunch of girls living in a dorm. all alone. that silence between us said it all: no matter what happens, tyo tayo lang nandito. tayo tayo na lang din magtutulungan. 20 minutes have already gone after the lindol, and some of us became sleepy again, some became hyper. some thought that we were all over-reacting, some cant get over of the shock they felt. my roomates and i decided to go back again in our room to continue our interrupted sleep. but i know most of us didn't sleep. because i did not. i was just staring blankly at the ceiling. im not praying but im thinking. thinking deep about my life, and if it was worthy enough to live.

later this afternoon, we were all joking about the earthquake and how scared we are when we were running downstairs heading for the main door of the building. raissa and anne shared that before they went back to sleep, they prayed hard. haha. i told them that i didn't fell asleep that fast as well. i told them i was thinking crazy thoughts. this experience was really something else...it made us all realize how easily we could die without any warning...

its true when they say that God works in mysterious ways. i have been neglecting God for the longest time---i was not going to church like i used to and worse, i was not praying at all anymore. that night i realised that i needed that lindol to wake the hell out of me. i needed that lindol to make me realize that life is fragile-we are just hanging on a breathe. HE can take away our lives just like that. i realised that i was not the person God wants me to be, and that i've been wasting my time in foolish and wrong doings, and neglecting my duties as a christian. i realised that the most important thing to me is my family, and that they were the first persons who popped in my mind, and i've never felt this urge to be with them right here, right now. i've never felt this surge of love before, and that i wanted to be home.

okay, its not that im gonn turn into a monk or a ghandi wannabe or something. im still avi. and i will probably continue to party till the wee hours of the night(no doubt.). but im just happy because this morning, i saw a light. i saw a direction pointing to the "right" way. changing isn't overnight. but you know what, i will try. i'll bring back the good old avi. and i miss her. with the help of God, my family and friends, i know i'll be fine. and may i conclude that this morning, that earthquake scared the fuck out of me, but right now, i can say that it was the most beautiful experience i've ever had in years. it awakened my soul.. (",)