a mind-blowing EARTHQUAKE

\\ms. avi
today at around 2.30 am, while my roomates and i were drowning in our own deep sleep, we felt that something's moving and shaking. but we just ignored it thinking that maybe one of us is just moving in her bed (we share bunk beds so if one of us moved, the other one will feel the movement). but the moving became intense and then suddenly, the glass windows are making weird noises as well. then anne who is sleeping at the bottom bunk near the windows broke the silence and said "guys, umuuga.." and then she yelled; "guys, lumilindol!" and then reality hit us like a big, scary truck, and suddenly we were all scrambling and running for the door. all i could say was "shit! shit! shit". in a split-second time, my mind suddenly stopped. my mother and my sister came into my mind, next are my friends who are living alone like me, who's family are all in abu dhabi as well. then i also thought that if the building would crash, what would i bring with me? my floor plans and plates and my other academic stuff? my laptop? my toothbrush(what the fuck?)...my mind was going crazy at that moment, and then i was back to reality again when rachel accidentally pushed me when we're on the stairs. all i had with me was my phone. i sent text messages to my sister, my mom and to some of my friends. no one replied. maybe they didnt notice the earthquake or maybe it didn't even reached their place. but whatever. i was freakin scared. putragis, i have never been this scared in my whole life. i thought we're gonna be stuck in the building. downstairs at our dorm's parking area, some of the girls are already there too. some of them are still sleepy, some are laughing and smoking, some looked serious and are about to cry, some just sat silently on the pavement. we were all there downstairs wearing our pajamas, boxers, robes, nighties and fluffy slippers waiting for something to happen. the manager of the building isn't living there and the guard and watchmen is no use either. looking at all my dormates, i suddenly felt like we were in an orphanage or something. we are all here in a middle of a crisis and we are away from our family. i know deep inside that we are all waiting for some assurance, some security, some kind word from a caring adult saying "everything will be alright"... but no one was there for all of us. its just..us. just a bunch of girls living in a dorm. all alone. that silence between us said it all: no matter what happens, tyo tayo lang nandito. tayo tayo na lang din magtutulungan. 20 minutes have already gone after the lindol, and some of us became sleepy again, some became hyper. some thought that we were all over-reacting, some cant get over of the shock they felt. my roomates and i decided to go back again in our room to continue our interrupted sleep. but i know most of us didn't sleep. because i did not. i was just staring blankly at the ceiling. im not praying but im thinking. thinking deep about my life, and if it was worthy enough to live.

later this afternoon, we were all joking about the earthquake and how scared we are when we were running downstairs heading for the main door of the building. raissa and anne shared that before they went back to sleep, they prayed hard. haha. i told them that i didn't fell asleep that fast as well. i told them i was thinking crazy thoughts. this experience was really something else...it made us all realize how easily we could die without any warning...

its true when they say that God works in mysterious ways. i have been neglecting God for the longest time---i was not going to church like i used to and worse, i was not praying at all anymore. that night i realised that i needed that lindol to wake the hell out of me. i needed that lindol to make me realize that life is fragile-we are just hanging on a breathe. HE can take away our lives just like that. i realised that i was not the person God wants me to be, and that i've been wasting my time in foolish and wrong doings, and neglecting my duties as a christian. i realised that the most important thing to me is my family, and that they were the first persons who popped in my mind, and i've never felt this urge to be with them right here, right now. i've never felt this surge of love before, and that i wanted to be home.

okay, its not that im gonn turn into a monk or a ghandi wannabe or something. im still avi. and i will probably continue to party till the wee hours of the night(no doubt.). but im just happy because this morning, i saw a light. i saw a direction pointing to the "right" way. changing isn't overnight. but you know what, i will try. i'll bring back the good old avi. and i miss her. with the help of God, my family and friends, i know i'll be fine. and may i conclude that this morning, that earthquake scared the fuck out of me, but right now, i can say that it was the most beautiful experience i've ever had in years. it awakened my soul.. (",)

avi the great. but not that great..

\\ms. avi\ tantanantanan! another episode of avi's hectic and restless adventures!! (",) morning, just the usual theology class, communication arts and computer. nothing much happened. oh, except that i finished my major computer project for like 15 min..haha..lunch, again, i committed the sin i usually commit. gluttony. man, i eat like a pig. i eat whatever comes into my mind. i just ate siomais, carbonara, tarts, brownies, and some biscuits i found in our ref. urp! later after that i went to to CEU with my sister to help her with her college thing and also to meet up with rami and tin. grabeh i nver knew that university belt could be so congested and...madumi. parang...ewan basta parang dami tao. anyways the applying-signing-and test-scheduling was done early so we went back here in estrada again and i left my sis for her to check her mail and other stuff, and i went back to school for my audition. yes, i auditioned for the school's glee club. i miss singing and i dont have any particular orgs this semester. i hope i passed. i hope my "amazing grace" has charmed the maestro. haha. at about 6pm, i went to starbucks to meet nicole. im surprised to see that she has a new guy friend. and take note, he's not just a guy. he's an extraordinary guy(or not?)..basta, he's 22, from benilde, good-looking, loves to blog, never had a girlfriend. plus he's name is kiwi. nice. told u he's extraordinary. too good to be true. haha. hmmmm.. then it was all blah-blah chika about nicole's coming debut party in club filipino in greenhills. lapit na nga e sa oct 2 na...she really had a hard time planning and making list of only 30 friends. tsk tsk, poor nicky.. anyways after that, its another pig meal in kenny rogers with nicole of course..urp!..i can still taste the chiken and the butter mushroom in my mouth *drools* ...its already 10pm and right this moment, im having a nice chat on msn messenger with my mom, ejay and adrian--all at the same time. and its okay, i think by fast typing on this comp keyboard im burning some fat ( hello??? burning some fat? baka gaining more fat because of countinous sitting! haha) well.. have to end this now, its getting pretty late.. till my next blog..*burps*

*thinks* hmmmm..how will i ever control my eating habits before i turn into a big, fat and unhealthy person? kaya ko bang kontrolin sarili ko? nah... dont think so..man, i cant live without food!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant cant cant cant cant cant..

a quick backtrack..

\\ms. avi\ havent blogged in here for quite a while.. well, heres a quickie bout what happened to me for the last few days.. ummmm..lemme see....friday: planned to watch muziclaban but it turned out na super jampacked un venue so we decided to go to greenbelt instead. nothing much happened, we just stuffed ourselves at dinner in krocodile grill and after that, went clubbing and then later after that, went to temple to drink.. and did we get drunk? i wont tell. just look at the pictures and see for yoursleves. saturday morning: slept till 12pm and then eventually woke up to fulfill my "ate" duties. i have to attend sherine's debut with my sister. so we went. and did we had a great time? yes of course. saturday 11.45pm right after sherine's debut, went straight to julie ann and jp's condo to sleepover(because we cant sleepover at sherine's bec all of her kamag-anak will be sleepingover as well, and its too late for her to go to laguna and she cant sleep at my dorm either)...the next best and practical place is there. so we went and what a bad timing. jp is there sleeping. i know, people sleep and its ordinary but is it also ordinary when you see a girl at his side? yep. he's god-knows-what girlfriend is sleeping next to him. what a night. and jp's reaction? well he was shocked to see me. anyways i went there to sleep, not to talk about his girlfriend and their rather "quick" relationship. i just ignored them and slept. im too young to be losyang bec of kunsumisyon. sunday: woke up at around 9am and cooked breakfast with julie ann and her cousin. ay i didnt cook pala, i just watched them cook. haha. and then it was a feast of champorado(naparami luto nila)... after the bountiful breakfast, i cant stand jp's girlfriend so my sister joy, julie ann and i decided to watch a movie in rp..."the terminal" starring tom hanks. its a good thing the movie was nice..pampawla ng badtrip...hehe.. after the movie, a quick snack at kfc and then it was my ate duty again and i dropped my sis to the sakayan to batangas. whew. what a hectic week.

but am i happy? well, yes. have i been productive? er-maybe? have i visited the house of God? no. why? guess im too busy? or too lazy? yea, busy. busy with nonsense stuff like partying. what the hell's wrong with me? oh my bestfriend leeann, i need you!!!! i need that reviving talk or else im gonna go crazy!!!!!

dinner at krocodile grill 

jomai, avi, mai, ate and bea getting drunk at temple bar, greenbelt...hik hik! lashing na ba?? "but officer, i swear to drunk im not god!" nyahahahahahahahaha  

avi,jomai,bea@krocodile's 

sherine's debut//joy,avi,sherine 

avijomai at krocodile grill 

april girls// jomai and avi at greenbelt makati// just finished watching "the notebook".. see the tears in their eyes? lol..(",) 

cab scene 

pinai and china in mc home depot pasong tamo makati 

absolutely clueless

\\ms. avi\ have i been sleepwalking for the past few days? maybe. bakit parang di ko alam mga nangyayari sa paligid ko? am i a turning into a zombie person? kasi for the past few days i've been recieving shocking news. well, not that shocking, guess im just over reacting. its just that everytime i'll go to school, my classmate will ask me "hey nagawa mo na ba yun proj?" and i was like, "huh? anong project?", and my mom said na "oi uuwi ako sa october", and ako naman "baket?", and another example is i've just learned that im included in sherine's (my former school mate back in abu dhabi) 18 candles in her debut. guess when? TOMORROW!!! damn it! am i beginning to have a short-term memory loss problem or am i just too fucking lazy to know what was happening around me? is this the result of too many burgers, chocolates and other junk foods that i keep on feeding my very happy and willing mouth, or is this the result of too much partying and less praying? i know.. maybe its because of the way-too-much plate making in school. nah, i dont think so. i love my work in school. well i guess its because of my smoking. maybe all that smoke went into my head already. gotta stop now. but i cant. i just cant.. currently. i cant live without it. tsk tsk tsk.. and i think that is bad.

i have to go now and think of what to wear at sherine's party... blog u later..

unfair grading?

\\ms. avi\ we've just recieved our midterm grades in computer and i was a little dissapointed. i got a B+ because i graded myself low. okay, confusing ba? this is what happened: my prof told us to rate and grade ourselves in our past activities. i have always been taught by my parents and my bestfriends and the other influential persons in my life to be FAIR. and i have been fair. way too fair pa nga. i rated myself 3 (the highest is 5 lowest is 1). so when the grades came, i didn't know that the grades that we gave ourselves will be the main grade that we'll have in midterm performance. i know i did a lousy job on the past performances so i deserve a 3,and i aslo know that we all did a lousy "bahala na" job on this. thats why i was shocked to see my other clasmates who got A+ and the other students who did their best and still remained humble enough to rate themselves like 4 or 3, and still, they got Bs.

but the most depressing part of this story is when m prof told us to stop whining and be contented with our grades bec we are the oneswho did this. he said that its not you being humble, it is what you want. know what u want and go get it. (for me it was a greedy statement.)

im now in a dilemma. should i follow my prof and be the greedy biatch and rate myself 5 even if i
sucked on my project, or be the "avi" that i know who is just, fair and happy when she gets the grade that she deserves? gotta go now and think.. i'll get back to this later..

a heart warming text from my bestfriend and a loving chat with mom--that definitely made my day!

\\ms. avi\ upon waking up this morning, i bumped into the bathroom door and hit my elbow. on the way to school, i was running madly because i thought i was late nanaman, only to find out that my prof isnt on our classroom yet, and i was hingal na hingal. leche. next class-mechanical drawing. i love this subject but sometimes my prof makes me crazy. i can feel that my eyes were dropping kanina and i just want to bury my head down and sleep. i was really drowsy i txted my bestfriend leeann. i told her i stopped dating this guy (i wont mention his name), and her reply was a simple "i miss u".. it really made me smile bec i miss her too.. as in sobra.. i miss our long spiritual talks. if theres a person who can understand me more than anyone else, its leeann. oh and my mom nga din pala. hehe. i just wanted to see her that very moment and have that "talk".. well, we sorta had a girly chika but thru text nga lang.. hehe but it was fun..
next class, PE. it was cancelled for some reasons. but i dont wanna know why, im just glad it was cancelled. i went home and slept! yahoo! a dream come true..babaw no?

anwyays its 9pm and im currently having a conversation with my mom in msn messenger. she has not changed a bit. nope. she's still the "sermon mom".. but i love her.. even though we argue a lot over small things, she has been the strength in me. she keeps me going on with my life with her motherly advices. i wish i could just fast forward my life so that i would be in the position where i'll be the one who's taking care of her, and i promise i'd give my all. she has always been there for me and my sister. she's one of the main reasons im alive-and she will be the reason for me to continue with my life and be the person she expects me to be. this is getting too personal and way too dramatical. i better stop. its already 11 pm and im just in the net cafe nearby my dorm. my life is at risk! haha.. later..

the freakin field trip

i previously mentioned that we're gonna have a field trip right? well, im expecting an exciting "fun day" that day but guess what happened? because of a li'l mistake my professor made about the location, everything went crazy. tangina..
okay, we had the usual boring class in the morning. and then after that we had a fast lunch in jollibee(yea yea, i know, yuck right? but hey-their chicken is great!) haha, well we have no choice: we were broke and we were late. after that we bargained for an FX to agree for a payment of 200 bucks dalhin nia lang kame sa makati(and abonado pa ko).. anyways we got there in one piece. waited a few minutes for our prof to arrive(she said to wait a little bec she was still having her lunch) then we waited still.. hanggang ubos na pasensya.. we called her up.. she said she was already at the main entranc of MC home Depot, we also said that we are in the entrance as well. she said she's in mc home depot pasong tamo. we said we're in mc home depot in the fort makati. nalintikan na..
what happened next? dont ask. we just waited for a cab for like, 10 years? nakngputah. talk about giving the "right directions".. leche.. pero im glad we finally got into our destination. but too bad our so-called field trip lasted for only an hour.. sayang..
ayways: lessons learned? BE SPECIFIC IN GIVING DIRECTIONS, never wear a black outfit when its freaking hot outside and never, ever expect to hear a simple "thank you" from your friends even though u paid 20% of the cab fair---because it will only break your heart. nice persons easily get hurt by simple things, and i guess i was hurt by that simple incident. believe me. im not expecting them to pay tribute to me or treat me as a god because i paid a big amount in the sharing, but man, it was pretty sad not hearing a simple thank-you. and maybe if i told them na "oi la manlang thanks?", i know what will be their initial reaction: that im mukang pera. so wag na lang. anyways ganito yata sa pinas. gamitan lang. when will i learn?

ayos! im now an early bird!

nakana. ako ba ito? my class is 9am but im already here in school ng 8.10! wow.. maybe im turning into a new leaf. pero di pa naman new year para magbago ah? hehe. oh well. im glad my proffessor wont scold me today for being late. hehe. well gotta go now, just dropped by to read some news on the net and to write a short blog in here as well.. catch u later.. oh and by the way, were going for a small field trip later in boysen paints. maybe they'll teach us to paint or something. makes me wonder--we're interior designers right? i thought we're supposed to hire painters to the job and not us. oh well, we'll see.. i'll make kwento after the field trip.. ta ta!

i hope i don't fall in love with you

\\well here's a nice song that i like. its by tom waits, and old jazz singer.. heard this song from the radio and in the movie "prince and me".. thought u guys would like to read the lyrics.. and download it.. u wont be dissapointed..(",) this song is perfect for some quiet sweet dance with ur loved ones.. nice tlga..

Well, I hope that I don't fall in love with you
'Cause fallin' in love just makes me blue
When the music plays and you display
your heart for me to see
I had a beer and now I hear
you callin' out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
Well, the room is crowded, people everywhere
And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?
Well, if you sit down with this old clown,
take that frown and break it.
Before the evening's gone away,
I think that we could make it.
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
Well, the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you don't understand
Well, I turn around to look at you,
you light a cigarette
I wish I had the guts to bum one,
but we've never met.
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you
I can see that you are lonesome just like me,
and it being late, you'd like some company
Well, I turn around to look at you,
and you look back at me
The guy you're with has up and split,
the chair next to you is free
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me
It's closin' time... the music's fadin' out
last call for drinks, I'll have another stout
well I turn around to look at you,
You're nowhere to be found
I search the place for your lost face,
guess I'll have another round.
And I think that I just fell in love with you

busy.. busy.. busy..

its been a crazy week. im working multiple jobs right now: a student, a sister, a"yaya" to my sister, an errand girl, a friend, a lousy date partner, a lousy friend, and just a lousy person. damn. i want to tear myself up and be in two places at one time; one is to help my sis to get into a uni, and the other to be the "bachelor avi" who loves to partya and just be..free. the moment my sister came here in pinas last last week, i knew my social life would come to an end. well, not exactly dead but mejo,nabawasan. and its not that im complaining. of course not. i love my sis so much and i'd drop everything to be with her.. but its just so..hard. well, forgive me for whining, its maybe bec i still couldnt accept the fact that i now have the responsibilty of taking care of my 17 yr old sister. hay...

well, kwento muna.. in school.. it's still the normal shit. we do our plates and have it checked by our meticoulous proffessors. and the crowd? still an all-girl uni. kakasawa. i miss the company of boys. thats why im really happy hanging out with my guy friends when we have the chance to get together..

last wed and thurs was all about helping my sis with her uni matters. duty ko yun. im the big sis. cant get away from it. im stuck to it.. but im happy..

last friday i went out with nicole and her boyfriend chris. we planned to have dinner in mexicali but the shitty waiter kept on ignoring us. so we shifted to tokyo tokyo instead and ate the same old teriyaki meal. hehe. then we headed to jomai's condo. and sobrang malas, the fucking elevator isnt working so we used the stairs instead. we had the pleasure of climbing the 6 horrific flights up to jomai's place. YIKES! kakahingal. and when we got to jomai's place, the AC isnt installed yet pa pala, so we all shared the glorious hot air coming out from the single electric fan that they have in their place. nice :-( but the important thing is i saw jomai again..my long lost friend..it turned out to be a pretty mini reunion for the both of us..hehe..

yesterday, i went with jomai to watch "the notebook". we're supposed to meet nicole and his brother in rockwell but decided wag na lang bec they'll just be staying for dinner, and jomai and i wanted to gimmick and stay up late pa naman. so to kill time before gimmick time (it was only 7.30pm), we watched the notebook in glorietta muna. my say about this movie? it was cheesy but nice. i like it. another story of a true and endless love that can create miracles. i wondered when will it happen to me? lol.. and after that we went to greenbelt to have some coffee and to wait for bea and charles to pick us up. it was a long wait but a worthwile one. jomai and i had a really nice talk about life. we needed a lot of catching up to do and that night it was all fulfilled. we had a great girl talk. then came came bea and charles and off we wen to eastwood. it was already 2am. we went to blue onion and man, the place was kickin! puno sobra. anyways, as we are about to enter, i saw a guy i used to know and date-and hate. my mood changed and suddenly i wanted to go home. that asshole really destroyed my night. before i went home, jomai and bea walked me to mc cafe and i told them bout this guy. they said its okay but i dont want them to hate me for my ugly mood so i just decided to go home instead. i dont want to spoil their night din so,uwi na lang me. before i hailed a cab, i ordered a choco pie to go. i ate it in the cab and it made me happy. babaw no? anak ng puta, choco pie lang pala soulution. nyahaha. i was so beat when i got to my dorm, i didnt even brushed my teeth. tulog kagad. 4 am na..

so today is sunday, i woke up at around 2pm with a stinkin breath, and without having any breakfast or lunch, i headed straight to the net cafe to surf the net.l. la lang. so un.. till here muna.. hope something nice and exciting will happen today.. hehe.. l8r! oh..i just got a txt from nicky. nasa g4 daw sila ni gino.. hmmm.. punta kaya ako? whatever. bahala na.. di pa ko naliligo e.. haha.. eeeewww..

currently watching a robo-flick.

potah. another boring class in computer. imgine, we have to do this fancy resume shit and put our entire lives in there as if we're gonna apply for a job tomorrow! anu ba.. so here i am writing to you oh my faithful diary.. i mean, blogspot. nyahaha. at the same time we're watching a film about robotic enhancements. wohoo! what an interesting subject. not! i would like to watch something interesting. like spongebob squarepants the movie. huh?!!! WAKE UP AVI!!! OH NO..my brain is turned into a limp noodle already. anak ng pating..

i dunno. im not like this before. im a goody-good good kind of girl.. bwisit kasi weather kakaantok, kung ano ano tuloi pumapasok sa isip mo.. hehe.. neways, catch u later, i have to watch this film or else i wont be able to answer my proffessor if he happens to ask me. ta-ta!! :-)

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